I really don’t like moving. All my life I’ve been in one place for years as my parents didn’t move around a lot while I was a child, even with my father being in the Air Force, we didn’t move around like other military families did. So, I have grown accustomed to a “stick and stay” lifestyle.
I am currently going through a transition, a shift of sorts not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. A move. A transition. A change. Some changes I can kinda go with the flow with, but getting a notice that I would have to move and move within 3 months and around the holidays and I didn’t want to move in the first place was a bit much for me to wrap my mind around. AND…I haven’t even considered the Spiritual implications or messages. Now those messages, I was seriously ignoring because I was too busy having my own temper tantrum and pity party and I didn’t want to face the reality that my life was shifting, and I was being forced to shift with it.
As I inched closer and closer to moving day, I became more resistant. I would pack things here and there and at the same time I had a very hard time letting things go. Memories of the past seemed to entrap me with everything that I touched from clothes to cups to papers. I was soon distracted and stuck. Spirit was moving and I was being so resistant to change that I had almost run out of options of where to move to. During this process, I have realized that I have an intimate relationship with pain, worry, and doubt. Finally, I had to give in to where Spirit was leading, not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well. Spirit is bringing me out of this space in my life and elevating me to another chapter on my path. It is going to take a lot of work and that’s not a “bad” thing. I need to apply the “work” of focus, determination, diligence, and responsibility to carry me. I have to use faith to believe that Oludumare would not bring me this far just to leave me without equipping me with the skill set that I will need for my next chapter.
The dust is settling on the move and I am gaining more and more overstanding of the lessons that are coming forth. One lesson is that endings are always a new beginning to something and I forget that often because I am so fixated on holding on and most times the things that I hold on to are blatantly not of my highest good and yet I have a death grip on them. There are things that just have to go away in my life because they are in the way of my destiny and the more I fight and hang on the more imbalance and chaos I invite into my life because that is not what Oludumare, my Ori (higher self) or my Ancestors want for me. I am learning to face and name my emotions, this is something that is a challenge for me and has been rewarding because allowing myself to feel and name the feelings humanizes me in a way that I haven’t done before. I’m learning how to release. I am learning how to lean into the guidance from Spirit and get out of my own way. I’m walking into this new season, new chapter, and new year more open to the endless possibilities and miracles that are waiting for me on the other side. I still have a long way to go and I’m thankful that I am more willing to let go and let God.
