I’m at a point in my journey where I am taking account and acknowledging where I am and learning to be okay with who that woman is. I’m learning that it is important to evaluate myself and my experiences as an observer and not to criticize my every thought or move.it’s also important for me to be real and true to who I am and who I am becoming. It is with this knowledge that I wrote an open letter to myself.
Nicole.
Look at you girl. You are in the process of healing, and it has been hard. Hard to let go of old habits, relationships, AND it’s been beautiful to watch you in the process of unbecoming. You’re stronger than you thought you were, and you have a true sisterhood that will support you every step of the way. Character, commitment, and discipline has been a theme for you this season. Your ancestors need for you to continue to work hard not only in authenticity, but in the way you carry yourself and care for yourself.
Your past relationship. Whew Girl!! That relationship was and is a very difficult situation to navigate due to the fact that you still have feelings for him and with love comes the realization that you were not your best self in that relationship, and you sacrificed your safety, health, and finances. That’s not it,Sis. Now that you are learning to let go, you have the wonderful chance to get to know yourself again and take care of your mind, body, emotions, and heart. Time will reveal, just focus on you girl. If he does his work then there may be a chance, if he doesn’t then there won’t. That’s it, that's all. There is NOTHING you can do nor is it your RESPONSIBILITY to fix or mend what has happened or to attempt to control what you want to happen. Trust that you have done some really powerful Spiritual work and remain focused on you.
The things that I am seeing you do well are ultimately getting you back to center and maturing you on a level that will allow you to show up fully in any relationship. Having preferences, being honest, speaking your truth, laughing, appreciating RESToration, allowing in ease, and understanding that love is indeed a verb and it’s okay to feel good and to realize that there is more to be done cuz girl your house, we almost there though…and please keep it Spiritually healthy. Doesn’t it feel good to walk in and the energy of your space is lighter?
These spiritual streets are calling you HIGHER and even that is new. Shifting your mind from an all-seeing Jesus under the aspects of Christianity to a world that is the path of your ancestors and having a deeper understanding and relationship with Spirit is HUGE.
Remember that you are new to this, and it is up to you to apply your knowledge so that you can indeed have victory in getting the life that you want and deserve. Faith isn’t the only thing that is required. There is work involved as well and that work is in taking the very BEST care of yourself, moving in ease and flow, and using your resources to support you along the way. Ease looks good on you girl, and I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile, and I can see it in your body as you are using nutrition to give you and your ancestors what ya’ll need to gain Asé. Look at you eating plant-based and enjoying it. LOL. I remember that you used to say, “There is no way that I will be vegetarian”. Never say never. You know better. Stay present with yourself. Let go of the fear of not knowing, the worry of what’s going to happen, whatever happens will be in alignment with your dreams and aspirations. When life hands you some ebbs, you have the ability to alchemize them and turn them into the absolute best ways to learn more about who you are becoming as a woman of divinity, no need to spiral down a road of depression and self-torment. So, enjoy the life that you are learning to live within this new “lens”. You will find that it all is working together for your greatest, highest, and most excellent good.
Keep SHYNING.
