If I could go back to speak to the younger me what would I say? There are many things that come to mind when I ask myself this question. With that, I would say to her:
There are some battles, many battles in fact, that you are going to face. Some of which aren’t even your own, but things you have to go through, just because of who you are and where you come from. You’re not going to understand everything, and most times life won’t feel like a walk in the park. Don’t allow that to be why you stop giving your best effort. Most importantly give yourself what you need to keep up with the pace. Life is a reflection of experiences, lessons, and the implementation of some takeaways from those lessons learned. Rather than focusing on the reasons why it feels impossible because of how challenging those lessons feel, focus on who you want to become on the other side of those lessons. Focus on the beautiful human being that you are becoming in the process. Above everything, truly trust the process that you have to go through for everything. You may not have what you want when you want it, but things will make sense, and they will unfold and manifest in your life in a way that fulfills what it is that you need. Pray daily. In fact, regardless of what’s going on around you, make it a point to develop your own special relationship with God. Lean on that, and allow that to help you navigate through any and everything that you experience.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that life is not what you desire, but what you make it. Our desires change with the seasons. Our decisions have the ability to help us master valuable skills that help us receive what we desire and more, through many seasons. There are so many things I told myself that I would do by this age. Have they all happened? Not at all. In fact, some of the things I thought I would have accomplished by now are nowhere near in sight of happening to my human eye. In reflecting back on where I’ve been, where I am now, and everything that has happened in between, things have been exactly what they needed to be for me. However, the biggest gap in my ability to accomplish the things that I’ve desired up until this point has been in a lack of following through on doing the things necessary to meet those accomplishments.
At the same time, it’s not solely about the tasks alone. It’s about the ability to see beyond my present and have faith. I am learning what that looks like more now than ever before. I’ve always been a very bold person and that bold, fearless type of mindset has gotten me far. However, when it comes to fulfilling the level of peace and fulfillment I desire on a soul level, I have to push beyond my sense of boldness and to a place that most times feels unfamiliar. It requires me to lean more on spirit. Surrender to what I know. It requires my mind to be the driving force as opposed to my ego which feels invincible. If I could give anything to the younger version of myself, it would be this level of awareness. The mindset that things require real work, and that work isn’t limited to what I think I know as a human. That work requires me to lean on spirit to strengthen my mind and emotional capacity to a place that is bulletproof. Not invincible, but bulletproof. Strong and focused if you will. One that can face adversities because I recognize their purpose within the bigger picture of life.